caren hortensia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
consolation) wrote2022-10-21 05:57 pm
consolation) wrote2022-10-21 05:57 pm
kenos inbox
coding later i need to reevaluate my art folder
coding later i need to reevaluate my art folder
caren w mordred empath link https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a1/42/dd/a142dd2123f884b6aa1fa905d92698b0.jpg
consolation
2022-10-31 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[Caren has felt little over the past few days. Even the painful echo of the finger she took off doesn't always feel like real pain, her apathy toward her current situation dulling whatever else she feels. Why bother seeking out the new hat she left behind, either?
So getting swept with a sudden, roiling response to the spiritual voice reaching out to her is surprising. She pauses.]
What a fascinatingly overwhelming sensation. I'm captured by the strongest urge to call you a mutt.
But then, that really isn't your name, is it?
So getting swept with a sudden, roiling response to the spiritual voice reaching out to her is surprising. She pauses.]
What a fascinatingly overwhelming sensation. I'm captured by the strongest urge to call you a mutt.
But then, that really isn't your name, is it?
[ Damn, just getting (almost) called a mutt out of nowhere. And here he thought Caren was a polite young lady.
But with how strange everything has been lately and his own sudden urge to turn around and kick the nearest person within a ten feet radius is probably enough of an indicator that whatever's going on might not be wholly under her control. ]
It's Eustace.
[ Though if she goes ahead with calling him 'mutt' who is he to stop her. That doesn't stop him from feeling a wave of annoyance, intermingling with the aforementioned insolence. ]
Do you usually go around calling people mutts?
But with how strange everything has been lately and his own sudden urge to turn around and kick the nearest person within a ten feet radius is probably enough of an indicator that whatever's going on might not be wholly under her control. ]
It's Eustace.
[ Though if she goes ahead with calling him 'mutt' who is he to stop her. That doesn't stop him from feeling a wave of annoyance, intermingling with the aforementioned insolence. ]
Do you usually go around calling people mutts?
Not uncommonly.
[It's more frequent than one might think! But it would be sorely inappropriate to dole it out unearned, especially said as an insult and when it doesn't seem to make him squirm.]
But you'll have to forgive me, Eustace. I'll reserve it only those that prove themselves to be dogs.
[Her acerbic tone is flowing more freely and unprompted than it normally does, but there's an edge of wicked teasing to it that feels more natural and less solely exacerbated by the rebellious anger that seems to be roiling across their connection.]
I'm rarely sought out by someone who doesn't want something I can provide. I presume it's the same for you?
[It's more frequent than one might think! But it would be sorely inappropriate to dole it out unearned, especially said as an insult and when it doesn't seem to make him squirm.]
But you'll have to forgive me, Eustace. I'll reserve it only those that prove themselves to be dogs.
[Her acerbic tone is flowing more freely and unprompted than it normally does, but there's an edge of wicked teasing to it that feels more natural and less solely exacerbated by the rebellious anger that seems to be roiling across their connection.]
I'm rarely sought out by someone who doesn't want something I can provide. I presume it's the same for you?
I'll try and restrain myself.
[ He says it a little acerbically, still feeling the leftover sting from Mordred's flare of emotion hot at the back of his mind. But if nothing else, he's gotten good at cooling himself down whenever these little bursts occur and it's not too long before he's back to his usual cool self. ]
But I don't need anything from you. [ Even if she is spot-on with that assessment. ] I'm reaching out to return something, actually.
[ It's a (puts hand in hat and pulls out a slip of paper) book of some sort. ]
[ He says it a little acerbically, still feeling the leftover sting from Mordred's flare of emotion hot at the back of his mind. But if nothing else, he's gotten good at cooling himself down whenever these little bursts occur and it's not too long before he's back to his usual cool self. ]
But I don't need anything from you. [ Even if she is spot-on with that assessment. ] I'm reaching out to return something, actually.
[ It's a (puts hand in hat and pulls out a slip of paper) book of some sort. ]
[I vaguely recall that I might have mentioned she bought herself a new hat that was the lost item in a previous tag but the thought of reaching into said hat to pull out the actual item is so funny that I'm going to roll with said improv.]
I did? How inconvenient. [For him to have gone through to trouble to have found it, more than for her to have lost it, she means.]
Thank you for recovering it. Would it be easier handled to donate it? [She hasn't even asked what it is yet. Though I'm sure you'd like something in return as thanks, either way.
I did? How inconvenient. [For him to have gone through to trouble to have found it, more than for her to have lost it, she means.]
Thank you for recovering it. Would it be easier handled to donate it? [She hasn't even asked what it is yet. Though I'm sure you'd like something in return as thanks, either way.
[ pulling a slip of paper out of a hat to rng a lost item except it's a hat .... out of a hat.
He's a little impressed she already seems to know what he's about to return, though presumably she's not the scatterbrained type to leave all her things around willy nilly. If it's just the one thing, then surely she would have noticed it missing and deduced what it was.
Although....he has to admit, he's a little puzzled by her question. ]
It's yours. Why would I donate it to someone [ some place?? ] else before returning it to you?
[ What an odd girl. ]
I don't need anything. [ At least not yet. ] But if you're offering an uncashed favor for later, I won't say no.
He's a little impressed she already seems to know what he's about to return, though presumably she's not the scatterbrained type to leave all her things around willy nilly. If it's just the one thing, then surely she would have noticed it missing and deduced what it was.
Although....he has to admit, he's a little puzzled by her question. ]
It's yours. Why would I donate it to someone [ some place?? ] else before returning it to you?
[ What an odd girl. ]
I don't need anything. [ At least not yet. ] But if you're offering an uncashed favor for later, I won't say no.
Most wouldn't think twice about throwing something so small away rather than go to this trouble. Unless this is some ruse on your part? [Of course it isn't, but she dangles the possibility out there as if it might be turn - after all, anyone living on their own like this would be suspicious.
She doesn't own many things in this place, she while she isn't in the habit of losing in the first place, she has precious few possessions that whatever he found could be. As for why he wouldn't go through the trouble of returning it...if she cherished it in the first place, she wouldn't have left it behind. It's only a material good, after.
Still, despite the blandness of her neutral affect up until then, the thought of having not lost it forever stirs the tiniest tendril of relief in her, a clear emotion she'd rather not bare.]
Then that's how it'll be. I don't have much to offer, but you'll think of something, won't you?
She doesn't own many things in this place, she while she isn't in the habit of losing in the first place, she has precious few possessions that whatever he found could be. As for why he wouldn't go through the trouble of returning it...if she cherished it in the first place, she wouldn't have left it behind. It's only a material good, after.
Still, despite the blandness of her neutral affect up until then, the thought of having not lost it forever stirs the tiniest tendril of relief in her, a clear emotion she'd rather not bare.]
Then that's how it'll be. I don't have much to offer, but you'll think of something, won't you?
[ Why does she have to say it like that? As if he's already plotting how best to use this card in his back pocket. He may not leave behind any opportunity that gives him a potential leg up, but neither is he some unscrupulous asshole willing to take advantage of a young woman at the first opportunity. ]
I'm sure you'll know when I cash it in.
[ Probably not for awhile though....she's safe For Now. If only because he doesn't fully know where her skills lie. Anyway. ]
Where are you staying? I can drop off the hat whenever you're free.
I'm sure you'll know when I cash it in.
[ Probably not for awhile though....she's safe For Now. If only because he doesn't fully know where her skills lie. Anyway. ]
Where are you staying? I can drop off the hat whenever you're free.
[The calming radiance emanating through the Manor is an obvious pulse, especially after some time away, especially after retuning to the sensation of accomplishment that resonated with their accomplishments. Or those of their allegiance, rather, the acts themselves still somewhat obscured.
She brings The Midnight's Longing with her, the volume folded cover-down under her arm. The book had brought its share of entertainment during the quieter, conflict-free moments on the Isle, but it didn't come without its curiosities, either. There are serious questions and cheekier curiosity alike to fulfill.
She isn't used to being the one who approaches needing something or craving more information. Her work, let alone her life, has always been dedicated to observation and waiting.
Upon arriving for her scheduled audience, she is polite, exchanging quick pleasantries intended to show she won't waste Yima's time. After those greetings, she adds,] I will not be long.
She brings The Midnight's Longing with her, the volume folded cover-down under her arm. The book had brought its share of entertainment during the quieter, conflict-free moments on the Isle, but it didn't come without its curiosities, either. There are serious questions and cheekier curiosity alike to fulfill.
She isn't used to being the one who approaches needing something or craving more information. Her work, let alone her life, has always been dedicated to observation and waiting.
Upon arriving for her scheduled audience, she is polite, exchanging quick pleasantries intended to show she won't waste Yima's time. After those greetings, she adds,] I will not be long.
[ Kathova leads Caren to join Yima where the Matron is waiting for her in the courtyard, standing amongst the gardens and enjoying the chill of the winter air. She greets her guest with a smile that takes the edge off the bite of the occasional breeze - or is that just a trick of the imagination? ]
I am glad to see you, Caren. Are you well-rested after your ordeal?
I am glad to see you, Caren. Are you well-rested after your ordeal?
[If she notices the shift in temperature, it's easy to note and put aside for now. The cold on the Isle had been piercing enough, so everything feels a little warmer in the wake of that experience.]
I am fine. [If anything, recovery had been a little easier than expected, the welcome back feeling strangely accepting and close-knit for a city that often felt so closed. When she shifts, there's still the occasional glimpse of a bandage beneath her sleeve or collar, but anything that happened to her is already nearly forgotten.]
How much do you know of what happened? [Her view of their destination had been obscured from the start. What would have been revealed to her over the course of their week of struggle?]
I am fine. [If anything, recovery had been a little easier than expected, the welcome back feeling strangely accepting and close-knit for a city that often felt so closed. When she shifts, there's still the occasional glimpse of a bandage beneath her sleeve or collar, but anything that happened to her is already nearly forgotten.]
How much do you know of what happened? [Her view of their destination had been obscured from the start. What would have been revealed to her over the course of their week of struggle?]
[ Caren is not one to waste time with frivolities today it seems; Yima is happy to get down to business accordingly. ]
Only that shared by you and yours - and your victory. It reached us here in Highstorm as soon as the Zenith had won over the Oracle's influence.
[ There's pride in her voice as she acknowledges the inevitable outcome, and she offers Caren a smile that speaks to her approval. ]
You had a part in that, did you not?
Only that shared by you and yours - and your victory. It reached us here in Highstorm as soon as the Zenith had won over the Oracle's influence.
[ There's pride in her voice as she acknowledges the inevitable outcome, and she offers Caren a smile that speaks to her approval. ]
You had a part in that, did you not?
[Should she be? She can't think that anyone as busy as Yima would want idle conversation from one of her insignificant followers. People wouldn't feel so blessed to bask in her light if something about it didn't seem precious.
So, any information came from them - Amos, maybe, the man whose faith remained unwavering even being ripped to shreds. Yima's proud question, as rhetorical as it might be, is more interesting, as Caren taps the spine of the book beneath her arm.]
You could ask a dozen of us and receive nearly as many answers. What a "win" for Zenith hinged upon was a topic of hot debate.
[You'd almost think it was intentional. Since their return, she's felt the thread tugging her closer to the other Zenites, but Caren hasn't forgotten how disparate priorities seemed prior to the opening of the Cornerstone.]
So, any information came from them - Amos, maybe, the man whose faith remained unwavering even being ripped to shreds. Yima's proud question, as rhetorical as it might be, is more interesting, as Caren taps the spine of the book beneath her arm.]
You could ask a dozen of us and receive nearly as many answers. What a "win" for Zenith hinged upon was a topic of hot debate.
[You'd almost think it was intentional. Since their return, she's felt the thread tugging her closer to the other Zenites, but Caren hasn't forgotten how disparate priorities seemed prior to the opening of the Cornerstone.]
[Such declarations are not infrequently accompanied by canings. Caren is used to this feeling, and, not pressed to lie, is honest in her answer.]
This city adheres to the belief that the lost cannot be saved, but from what I have seen it would still memorialize what existed. Zenith keeps memories in art and relics and plants them in gardens. That's what I sought to retrieve.
... On all but one occasion. [Because she had tried, the woman who kept a dying person alive for weeks, to rewind the spiral of time just once. Whatever had possessed her even to try? It's something that feels ever-unreachable, like the backside of the moon.]
This city adheres to the belief that the lost cannot be saved, but from what I have seen it would still memorialize what existed. Zenith keeps memories in art and relics and plants them in gardens. That's what I sought to retrieve.
... On all but one occasion. [Because she had tried, the woman who kept a dying person alive for weeks, to rewind the spiral of time just once. Whatever had possessed her even to try? It's something that feels ever-unreachable, like the backside of the moon.]
[ It's likely predictable that the part that takes the Matron's notice is the latter rather than the former. ]
Then there was an exception.
[ Yima waits, patiently - but expecting for Caren to explain. ]
What caused your change of heart in this case?
Then there was an exception.
[ Yima waits, patiently - but expecting for Caren to explain. ]
What caused your change of heart in this case?
[In that foreign city she had come to enjoy despite herself, there was surely at least one person who would have poured their entire self into seeing what people could be salvaged from the ghost of the world.
But it isn't necessarily out of fear of their judgment that she tried. She isn't chasing the ideals of a hero of justice.]
I wanted to see if it was possible. Because that island still exists, the circumstances that transpired might have been unwound. We were working with time.
[The Scorching Isle hadn't completely disappeared, rent asunder. It was tangible and therefore might have still had a salvageable future - like those residing in Meridian and Zenith alike.]
But it isn't necessarily out of fear of their judgment that she tried. She isn't chasing the ideals of a hero of justice.]
I wanted to see if it was possible. Because that island still exists, the circumstances that transpired might have been unwound. We were working with time.
[The Scorching Isle hadn't completely disappeared, rent asunder. It was tangible and therefore might have still had a salvageable future - like those residing in Meridian and Zenith alike.]
And yet you were chased from the Isle before you were able to see the fruits of your labor.
[ They'd been chased out by their 'host,' from what she gathered. She notes this contemplatively, taking a moment to consider what this might indicate.
But she does not linger long: ]
If there was a way, would you return?
[ They'd been chased out by their 'host,' from what she gathered. She notes this contemplatively, taking a moment to consider what this might indicate.
But she does not linger long: ]
If there was a way, would you return?
The creature who welcomed us had a habit of taking us unawares.
[Her normally mild voice is bordering on deadpan now. There's not a lot of love lost between Caren and that otter. Yima's question demands some contemplation of her own.]
To the Isle? I have no particular attachment to that place. [She is...more content, here, though when she stops to examine the feeling it swirls around some indescribable and almost uncomfortable emotion.]
I was under the belief our work was done, and I'm used to being withdrawn when that's the case, even knowing others from Zenith must have once played their role there well before we arrived.
[Her normally mild voice is bordering on deadpan now. There's not a lot of love lost between Caren and that otter. Yima's question demands some contemplation of her own.]
To the Isle? I have no particular attachment to that place. [She is...more content, here, though when she stops to examine the feeling it swirls around some indescribable and almost uncomfortable emotion.]
I was under the belief our work was done, and I'm used to being withdrawn when that's the case, even knowing others from Zenith must have once played their role there well before we arrived.
If it was successful, then I did what I intended. If it failed, I'd have little reason to return, unless final absolution was called for.
[She lowers her gaze, the book now folded into her forearms and held against her waist. It isn't that she'd be opposed, but without attachment or pleasure, most of her interest in that lost island is fleeting. There is only the work that could be done. The sand they competed for, as precious as gold or blood, seemed finite enough, unlikely to be used the same way again even if it was successful. Caren's lips form a solemn line.]
It sounds like you might have reason to ask us to go back there in the future. [That would mean, of course, that there was something beyond the Oracle worth hunting in these fractured places, and Yima doesn't seem the type to lose sight of her primary goal so quickly, so Caren's postulating is really a shot in the dark. If the book in her hands is an indicator of anything, though, Yima might have more to say about the connection.]
[She lowers her gaze, the book now folded into her forearms and held against her waist. It isn't that she'd be opposed, but without attachment or pleasure, most of her interest in that lost island is fleeting. There is only the work that could be done. The sand they competed for, as precious as gold or blood, seemed finite enough, unlikely to be used the same way again even if it was successful. Caren's lips form a solemn line.]
It sounds like you might have reason to ask us to go back there in the future. [That would mean, of course, that there was something beyond the Oracle worth hunting in these fractured places, and Yima doesn't seem the type to lose sight of her primary goal so quickly, so Caren's postulating is really a shot in the dark. If the book in her hands is an indicator of anything, though, Yima might have more to say about the connection.]
[ In answer to that unspoken question, Yima shakes her head with the light and gentle chime of jewelry. ]
It is my own curiosity, not one with any greater purpose, I wish to sate with such questions.
[ She is genuinely intrigued by Caren's thought process and seeks to understand where it's coming from. ]
You are no soldier of mine sent away on missions abroad to return to me a victor, though that may be how some of you and yours interpret our situation. We are equals. I, too, am a woman who wishes to realize goals I might only achieve through the Zenith — yet that does not mean I see, feel, nothing else. You took action of your own accord...
Do you feel your only purpose is your duty?
It is my own curiosity, not one with any greater purpose, I wish to sate with such questions.
[ She is genuinely intrigued by Caren's thought process and seeks to understand where it's coming from. ]
You are no soldier of mine sent away on missions abroad to return to me a victor, though that may be how some of you and yours interpret our situation. We are equals. I, too, am a woman who wishes to realize goals I might only achieve through the Zenith — yet that does not mean I see, feel, nothing else. You took action of your own accord...
Do you feel your only purpose is your duty?
There are still plenty of opinionated and self-motivated individuals in the ranks, don't worry. [She almost smiles, more of a wry, thoughtful expression than a happy one, at the mention of the others who see themselves as soldiers with Yima at the head of the march. There are many loud voices in their faction, regardless of where they pledge their hearts.]
I don't want you to have the wrong impression of my life. There was nothing I was forced to do against my will. [Either before arriving here or after being brought. Of course she has always had the freedom of choice. It sounds a bit like she's never made a conscious distinction between containment and freedom.
Ora et labora. Pray and work.]
... [She tilts her head.] Well, I didn't choose to come here, and it's common human weakness to ask "why me?" [For as nonchalantly as it's said, it's a significant admission, to say she doesn't know why she was called her.] Yet as you said, the futures of both the Meridian and Zenith will be impacted by our actions. Should I not do what I can?
I don't want you to have the wrong impression of my life. There was nothing I was forced to do against my will. [Either before arriving here or after being brought. Of course she has always had the freedom of choice. It sounds a bit like she's never made a conscious distinction between containment and freedom.
Ora et labora. Pray and work.]
... [She tilts her head.] Well, I didn't choose to come here, and it's common human weakness to ask "why me?" [For as nonchalantly as it's said, it's a significant admission, to say she doesn't know why she was called her.] Yet as you said, the futures of both the Meridian and Zenith will be impacted by our actions. Should I not do what I can?
That is a question I would like you to answer for me.
[ "Should I not do what I can?" lends itself well to the greater point Yima hopes to reach. ]
Do you wonder why you are here at the end of worlds? Why you did not flow to Oblivion to be lost? Do you believe you have a purpose?
[ "Should I not do what I can?" lends itself well to the greater point Yima hopes to reach. ]
Do you wonder why you are here at the end of worlds? Why you did not flow to Oblivion to be lost? Do you believe you have a purpose?
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