consolation | kenos inbox

And yet you were chased from the Isle before you were able to see the fruits of your labor.

[ They'd been chased out by their 'host,' from what she gathered. She notes this contemplatively, taking a moment to consider what this might indicate.

But she does not linger long: ]

If there was a way, would you return?

The creature who welcomed us had a habit of taking us unawares.

[Her normally mild voice is bordering on deadpan now. There's not a lot of love lost between Caren and that otter. Yima's question demands some contemplation of her own.]

To the Isle? I have no particular attachment to that place. [She is...more content, here, though when she stops to examine the feeling it swirls around some indescribable and almost uncomfortable emotion.]

I was under the belief our work was done, and I'm used to being withdrawn when that's the case, even knowing others from Zenith must have once played their role there well before we arrived.

Not even to see the results of your experiment?

[ There is naked curiosity in her gaze as she regards Caren at her side. ]

Are you not intrigued to discover if your time was well-spent?

If it was successful, then I did what I intended. If it failed, I'd have little reason to return, unless final absolution was called for.

[She lowers her gaze, the book now folded into her forearms and held against her waist. It isn't that she'd be opposed, but without attachment or pleasure, most of her interest in that lost island is fleeting. There is only the work that could be done. The sand they competed for, as precious as gold or blood, seemed finite enough, unlikely to be used the same way again even if it was successful. Caren's lips form a solemn line.]

It sounds like you might have reason to ask us to go back there in the future. [That would mean, of course, that there was something beyond the Oracle worth hunting in these fractured places, and Yima doesn't seem the type to lose sight of her primary goal so quickly, so Caren's postulating is really a shot in the dark. If the book in her hands is an indicator of anything, though, Yima might have more to say about the connection.]

[ In answer to that unspoken question, Yima shakes her head with the light and gentle chime of jewelry. ]

It is my own curiosity, not one with any greater purpose, I wish to sate with such questions.

[ She is genuinely intrigued by Caren's thought process and seeks to understand where it's coming from. ]

You are no soldier of mine sent away on missions abroad to return to me a victor, though that may be how some of you and yours interpret our situation. We are equals. I, too, am a woman who wishes to realize goals I might only achieve through the Zenith — yet that does not mean I see, feel, nothing else. You took action of your own accord...

Do you feel your only purpose is your duty?

There are still plenty of opinionated and self-motivated individuals in the ranks, don't worry. [She almost smiles, more of a wry, thoughtful expression than a happy one, at the mention of the others who see themselves as soldiers with Yima at the head of the march. There are many loud voices in their faction, regardless of where they pledge their hearts.]

I don't want you to have the wrong impression of my life. There was nothing I was forced to do against my will. [Either before arriving here or after being brought. Of course she has always had the freedom of choice. It sounds a bit like she's never made a conscious distinction between containment and freedom.

Ora et labora. Pray and work.]

... [She tilts her head.] Well, I didn't choose to come here, and it's common human weakness to ask "why me?" [For as nonchalantly as it's said, it's a significant admission, to say she doesn't know why she was called her.] Yet as you said, the futures of both the Meridian and Zenith will be impacted by our actions. Should I not do what I can?

That is a question I would like you to answer for me.

[ "Should I not do what I can?" lends itself well to the greater point Yima hopes to reach. ]

Do you wonder why you are here at the end of worlds? Why you did not flow to Oblivion to be lost? Do you believe you have a purpose?

[In a rarity, Caren flinches, a genuine and somewhat uncomfortable surprise on her face. She's always had some apathy when speaking about her existence, even throughout this conversation.]

Yes, of course I wonder. Naturally, someone in my circumstances was unlikely to have a normal lifespan. [She had resolved herself to a young death, that like snow in early spring she would fade invisibly by the dawn.]

My faith hasn't changed, and that's all I need to bring forth into the future with me. But it'd be pretty miraculous to go so easily to another calling.

Then tell me if you would. Were you to have freedom of choice... freedom to choose your own path independent of the Meridian or Zenith. What would that look like to you?

[ It is that faint surprise, that glimmer of something that Caren is unused to discussing and facing in herself Yima seems interested in. What would Caren create of her future if she had the power to shape it with her own hands? ]

If choice changes your convictions so easily, how can you say you were convicted in the first place?

[Hadn't someone else said something so cruel to her once? It's like you're living to do nothing. She has never had a wish, in any regard. If this were one of those conversations, she'd probably end it with something truncated and cold: What, did you expect me to say I'd just like to study and become a nurse? Something like that.]

Were there to be no divide between us, I don't actually think our circumstances would drastically change. The weaknesses in character, the beastly violence, the foul tampering, the lustfulness, the inability for some to accept things as they are or negotiate with others... very few of them would go away.

I dislike how petty it is. How self-absorbed...the worst of the world has been preserved here. But we are all of the world, and as many as possible should see what happens when all is resolved. If I had control of it... I guess I'd have a bone to pick with any who would be happy to inject that detritus into whatever was created, and I would oppose their efforts.

[She's disgusted by those who would sow or preserve or restore suffering, or twist thoughts and actions only to appease their own desires. To affect things on that magnitude requires power on par with God and would not be something she could affect on her own, but perhaps with a little more control...]

Some might argue that choice does indeed dictate one's convictions. I have heard many a Meridian say that they cannot embrace the Zenith solely because the choice to give up on their homelands is not an option they are willing to entertain. If that were not a 'choice' so blatantly offered to them, would acceptance come more easily?

[ Yima offers this gently; it should be clear from her manner she doesn't speak from a place of judgment or personal opinion - and merely wishes to pose a different viewpoint to get Caren's considerations on the subject from varying angles.

But inevitably, she smiles, reaching a hand to lightly lay it on Caren's forearm. The contact is light; warm. Familiar. ]

You are pragmatic. Not everyone possesses the strength to let go of what they had in pursuit of betterment... some will grip onto their attachments regardless what it costs them, and others.

I admire that about you, Caren.

It would be easier, especially in the face of irrevocable proof if it existed. However, I am a woman of faith, so I see why belief guides them. [And, therefore, she cannot speak with judgment, either.] Belief in the unproven steers too many hearts to be that way, and even something impossible or fabricated can exist on the boundary of reality. It just can't stay that way.

[If it were otherwise, perhaps she would have asked for another shard, like so many who chose Zenith, instead of settling right away into familiar, unrewarded toil. Caren glances down at Yima's hand on her arm, able to feel the warmth of it even through her sleeve. Respect and admiration were rarely paid to her; uncomfortable with the comfort it brings her, she continues to speak.]

I...appreciate that you see it that way. What's to be done if what some of your followers want can't be reconciled with others?

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sorry for just word vomit please don't evict me from the game

i begin removing you from the comms immediately (no)(puts these juicy words in my mouth)

NOOOOO my comm memberships..........